Why your complaint is keeping you stuck

Apr 26

I was conversation-hijacked going through the Starbucks drive-thru this morning to get my tall nitro black. My neighbor, who works the early shift, was at the window complaining to me about his home situation. He’d started this complaining a few weeks earlier, as our “neighborly” conversations had suddenly turned personal. (Sometimes when things get that bad, you vomit your complaints to anyone who will listen.) In essence, he’s unhappy in his marriage but won’t do anything about it. So he just complains. And complains. I’m at the point where I go out of my way to avoid him, which is unfortunate because he’s generally a nice person.

As I pulled away, I thought, “What is the universe trying to show me here?” as I know that when I have experiences that are a bit disruptive to my normally high vibe, I’m meant to look more closely at something going on with me.

What was it about that conversation/experience did I not like or want? It was listening to his complaining about his situation. My mental takeaway was, “Why don’t you do something about it? Move out. Get counseling. At least be in action about improving your situation.” That’s when it hit me:

“Be in action about improving your situation.”

So I turned the table on myself and asked, “Where am I not being in action to improve my situation?” I started thinking about what I’m doing right now in my business, which is simplifying my entire communication strategy by consolidating everything into one website. Yes, I’m super excited about it, relieved by the decision to do it and enjoying the creative process. I love creating new things, designing, writing, bringing something into reality.

As great as that sounds, and it is great, what I am not doing is cultivating new business. I’m using my current internal redesign as an excuse not to meet and engage new clients.

To some degree, I am in action improving my situation. However, the real result I want in my business (and the impetus for doing the redesign) is to acquire new client engagements, which will happen once I finish the site and all of my consolidation, ideally. At least that’s the story I’m selling myself. ;-)

Blah, blah, blah, Terry. It’s just another excuse. It’s just another complaint. And yes, I am being a little bit hard on myself with this realization. BUT, it’s still a powerful realization and I have the universe to thank.

I give myself permission to get this redesign done, but let’s get it to market sooner rather than later.

I’m going to stop beating myself up for NOT developing business right now and stop worrying about it so much. Because it’s been running in the background of my mind over the last few months, I’m attracting these specific experiences to mirror my thinking so I can choose more productive, beneficial thoughts.

So where’s the why?

Once I discovered the mirror of my experience to my current thought pattern, I asked myself why I was complaining and not being in action. The more I pondered the idea, the more it all came back to my reluctance to “sell.” My weariness of getting objections, rejections and dismissals. My resistance to play traditional online marketing games, funnels, lead generation bait and switch tactics and social media marketing and ads. Plus, I’d been out of practice of consistent outreach and building relationships for MANY months due to another excuse many are and have used which is THE PANDEMIC.

I know how to sell my work. I’ve just stopped doing it.

Okay. So there it is in black and white. And here’s my Rx for myself:

It’s okay that I am where I am. Lots of self-love for all that I have accomplished thus far in my business.
I appreciate the awareness of this pattern of thought and thank the universe for (as always) showing it to me.
Focus on what needs to be done and get it done so I can be ready for the next step which is active, consistent business development.
Honor my reluctance but still get in action because I always feel better when I do because it grows my business.
Celebrate every positive conversation and outcome for being in action.

That’s it. It’s that simple. For me, at least.

For you:

What in your business are you avoiding or not being in action about and using a complaint/excuse to keep it stuck? How is the universe showing you through your life experience what you need to see about your pattern of thought? What are you constantly complaining about (mentally or vocally)?